Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Fire Breathing

It's almost Mav's 4th birthday! Where does the time go? I really believe that time goes so much faster once you have children because you forget to pay attention to everything else but them growing up. I'm so lucky to still have my snuggly little boy, well, most the time. He has his moments where I'm a thorn in his side. Sometimes he is just too grown up for kisses. He literally says things like "Mom, I'm getting older now."
He asked the other night why people can't breath fire. What? How do you answer that kind of question? Laughter is all that came to mind.
I just helped him get his tent unstuck from under his door in his room. He thanked me and told me he really appreciated it. Such a courteous young man.
My kid has a couple of imaginary friends. He has Peanutbutter Doug, who is his son; and his brother Jackson. I have been convinced on more than one occasion that Jackson may really exist. Who knows? I mean, I know that I haven't had another kid. His Dad could have another child I'm unaware of. Either way, Jackson is real to Mavrick. I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid named Jimmy Jeff Lee. He got arrested once and had a girlfriend named Cherry on the top.
I leave you today with one question. Why can't people breathe fire? Discuss.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Stealing is bad, mmmmmmk?

Today Mavrick and I had our first conversation about something fundamentally moral. We were at the beauty supply and Mavrick found a pair of blue tweezers he figured he couldn't live without. He figured that the tweezers would be his fix all for any health problem in his forseeable future. Splinters are a frequent ailment for us. Mavrick is always carrying around old boards and sticks and whatnot. Hair is always getting stuck in me. Yes. Hair splinters exist, and, they're heinous.
After paying for my supplies, we walked out the door and my sweet boy proudly looks up at me and says "now I can get my owies out!". Problem with all the precious delight in his new treasure is that it was stolen. With deep sadness in my heart because of how much pride I saw in his face, I had him turn around and return the awesome blue tweezers and apologize. His pride was crushed. I got him into his booster seat and explained to him that taking things without paying for them is wrong. Boy!  That kid got crocodile tears in his eyes and it truly almost broke my heart.
I started thinking about the tone in which I immediately reacted to seeing the stolen goods in his hands. I probably scared the shit out of him! I apologized for the way I reacted and smothered him in kisses and reminded him that until this moment, he didn't know what stealing was. How the hell else do you react? I once read a story about a Mother/Son team that went on a country wide stealing/murdering spree. That isn't exactly where I see Mav and I in 15 years. I mean, maybe if the Zombie Apocalypse shows up, but at that point, fuck morals, were gonna steal shit and kill some GD zombies.
After my boy calms down, I return to the drivers seat and start the car. We barely get out of the parking lot and he is in tears again. I ask him in my most motherly, 'you did nothing wrong', comforting voice what was wrong.... He looks at me quite seriously and says- "I thought we were friends."
Evidently our opinions on the Mother/Son country wide robbery spree weren't exactly on point.
I think I'll go back tomorrow and grab a pair of blue tweezers.