Friday, February 17, 2012

Lysol is the shit.

Mav is sick. That is always a bummer. It's times like this that I'm thankful for things like Lysol and cough syrup. Over the week of New Year's, I managed to get Strep Throat. That should NEVER happen to adults. It's like being attacked with a cheese grater and quaaludes, and then trying to maintain sanity while still holding down a household. Something only a Parent can do. The point is, I also managed to be the only one who got it. Lysol is amazing.
Other things that are a must in probably every household are probably not things that would immediately jump into your head. Scotch tape. For Christ's sake if you need a few effing minutes to yourself, hand your kid some tape. Keep in mind you will have to do some cleaning up. Keep tyedye handy. I'm serious. If you have NOTHING to do, grab something white, twist is up and dye it. Whala- you're not bored anymore. Belts. Those are always fun. I always have a box of cake mix around. Cupcakes are not only a fun project, but can be used as leverage if your kid starts acting like a total fool. Can't tell you how many times I've threatened to NOT make cupcakes. Always, ALWAYS have enough crap around to build forts. That's more for the grownups, we gotta have somewhere to hide from the little turds, right?
Here is something that I learned from the baby whisperer. Mary Guthrie is a friggin super genius.. I should probably be keeping this one to myself, because it's that awesome. Magic Dust. It is an invisible dust that hides well in, well, anywhere, because it's invisible. Anytime there is a minor to major ouchie, magic dust is like kid Xanax. Sprinkle a bit on and the calm immediately ensues. Is it too soon after Whitney Houston's death to be making Xanax jokes? Nah. Happy Friday everybody!

1 comment:

  1. Your shit cracks me up! Love reading these. Oh and by the way...the boys and I all have strep this week!!!!!